Developing patterns as far as our lifestyle choices, our thinking, actions, relationships, perceptions, critiques and judgments are varied. Our choices often are based on habit and focus on a need to find relief. When I look at myself I can see that while my patterns and choices can be varied and complex they also narrow down when there is a realization of why I do the things that I do. All of us have patterns and ways in which we act in order to create what we think will lead to the greatest sense of security. I like looking at our choices, as our search for security, wanting to feel safe is why we do almost everything that we do. Security can be seen as a space of integration where we are ok and secure with in ourselves. We might not always feel secure but we are always searching for it. Often security is projected outside of ourselves onto the conditions that we must complete in order to feel safe. An example of this for me, especially in my past was a need to be confident. If I was confident then I would feel secure in myself and of course there were allot of choices I took in order to feel confident. Some examples were a need to win or outshine other people. So while security was obviously important for me it was conditioned based on the need to show other people that I was confident and secure with in myself. This is how we form our patterns that we think will bring us a feeling of security, but almost always reinforce the underlying energy of security being based on what I can do and ultimately the way people see me.
In order to bring healing to these patterns it is important to be completely honest with ourselves and begin to look closely at the truth. In this pattern of needing to be confident I am attempting to show people that I am secure within myself. The only problem with this is that it is based on a feeling that I am not secure with in myself and therefore need to have some type of action in order to show people that I have value. This is common for all of us and it is important to ask yourself; what do I do in order to appear secure in my life? These external actions and choices are our patterns. The most important thing that we can do is begin to be honest with ourselves and see what it is we do in order to appear a certain way. Patterns do have a purpose in our life and there is nothing that we do that does not have some purpose. We always make choices based on what we think will bring us the most relief and security even though this can be the farthest from the truth.
The most basic purpose of patterns is actions that we take in order to keep people close to us. If I am confident than people will love me and will want to be around me. This is how I can keep people close to me and feel secure. Of course there are many patterns to be observed but the important thing is to see the innocence of our patterns. They are not wrong; they are based on the need for security and safety.
Patterns project security outside of ourselves through actions and control of life. If I go back to my example of confidence and the need to be seen, the root of this pattern is an insecurity with the way I am and therefore a need to do something in order for people to see me, want to be around me, and to approve of me. Looking at this example it is clear that the purpose is to feel more confident but the result is to continually reinforce the root of the pattern, which is a deep seated insecurity about myself.
How do we bring security back ourselves rather than reinforcing our patterns? In order to heal and bring a completion to old patterns we need to start at the root. The choice for me was to begin to look closely at my insecurity and see that all of my attempts to look and feel confidant were not working and if they did work it was a temporary relief. I like to think of our patterns as a river or stream. This stream flows because we choose to flow a certain way in our life. The more I choose to not look at my insecurity and in affect convince others that I am strong and confident the more unstable and farther away from the source of true security I get. To not reinforce this pattern and inevitably allow it to fade, die, or find completion. I have to become present for the truth and feel the deep sense of insecurity within my direct experience and no longer take the actions that I have in the past to appear secure. I must bring a closure to my pattern and make a choice for something new that is not based on denial or remaining unconscious of my feelings. This has shown me that my insecurity and patterns were never the truth. I was not insecure I was just doing what the best thing that I knew how to do in order to bring relief to insecurity. Becoming aware of insecurity and allowing ourselves to feel is the ultimate form or security, because it places our attention back on ourselves rather than projecting it out onto our external world. The answer to our patterns is simply to heal the root causes of instability and in return create a new pathway that is more in alignment with safety within ourselves.